Clothesline #5

Greetings to all on 12 MAY 2007

Word for the Day
Sublimationism - assumes significant differences between men and women and that “masculine” and “feminine” qualities actually exist. [1]

Quote for the Day
Before he became president of the United States, Teddy Roosevelt was a Sunday school teacher. One day a boy showed up for class with a black eye. He admitted he’d been fighting ... another boy was pinching his sister, so he took a swing at the scoundrel. The future president told the boy he was proud of him and gave him a dollar. When word got ‘round the church, Roosevelt was let go. TR was caught between two scriptural imperatives: turn the other cheek and defend the weak. He chose to praise the boy for his tough response, but was fired for it, because in most churches the right choice is always the soft one. [2]

Website for the Day
www.churchformen.com
This is David Murrow’s website.

Thought for the Day
There is a popular book titled Why Men Hate Going to Church. At the time I wrote most of this article, I had not read it. I have now read most of it and can say that the author takes my skeletal ideas and fleshes them out in a very powerful way.

Until recently, the leadership in both mainline and evangelical churches has been almost exclusively male, and that remains true for the majority. In my tribe we have been especially slow in recognizing the gifts of women in a formal or public designation. Therefore, men should love going to church because they get to be in charge of everything. Of course, we know that conclusion is incongruous with the reality. Where did we go wrong? Let’s consider two overlooked facts.

Who actually carries out most of our ministries? That’s correct - the women. I suspect that even the truly brilliant ideas that men present were stolen from their spouses. The goofy plans we thought up all by ourselves! Traditionally, women have had more time (flexibility) to put hands and feet to the mission. That has drastically changed in the past 25 years. But consider a less obvious reason for high female involvement. In the March issue, we discussed how women tend to be gifted with the ability to aid and comfort moreso than men. And what is the nature of most of our ministries? Most are inwardly focused on babies, children, family, fellowships, funerals, Sunday school, weddings, VBS ... well, you get the point. You just read a long list of ways to be involved that are generally more attractive to women than men.

Now, let’s take a deeper look at male leadership. In my local church, we have paid staff (mostly men), preachers (all men), deacons (all men) and an elder board (all men). We also have men (only) lead singing, serve the Eucharist, make announcements and lead prayers. Only men can teach adult coed classes. Sounds like abundant opportunities for men to serve, right? But, observe for yourself; only a small percentage serve in what I call an “up front” role. Even most deacons who serve behind the scenes are primarily inwardly focused with minimally satisfying tasks such as moving walls or mowing the grass. I submit that the typical male occupying the pew on Sunday morning just doesn’t see any place to belong. He just checks off that he went to church and, eventually, he may just check out.

A few months ago, my wife put the idea in my head (remember how that works) to help a neighbor whose house was in desperate need of a new roof and paint. We threw together a brief presentation and created an email list to spread the word. Within a few weeks, we had raised enough money to have a new roof installed and get the siding ready for fresh paint. The amazing part was to observe who showed up for physical labor. We had at least two families, two father-daughter teams, and one man who worked all three Saturdays, along with many others. People of both genders will contribute, both financially and physically, when there is a perceived need, especially if they can have a personal impact. Notice also that this project was outwardly focused. The homeowner is not a church goer; we did not approach this project with any intent of being repaid or thanked in any way. And we were not disappointed. We learned a lot from this project; you might even say that the Spirit “sent us to school” on this first effort.

Notice the difference in these two venues of service. Our typical ministries have been inwardly focused, although many churches are trying to move toward outwardly focused ministries. Attending to ourselves lends itself to the gifts of caring, consoling, nurturing, and sharing. Women seem to receive recognition and support from their peers in a way that men do not. Men prefer to be involved in more tangible accomplishments. We like to look back and take satisfaction in a job well done. Most men don’t even want an “up front” avenue of service, but, we do need to feel useful and appreciated. God made us that way!

Men yearn for greatness and recognition and, yet, most churches stymie that desire, even labeling it as sinful. Recall when James and John approached Jesus to request the future posts of Secretary of State and Secretary of Defense. Notice that Jesus did not rebuke them for seeking greatness. Instead, he showed them the way to true greatness, “If you will be great, you must be the servant of all others.” Men need a vision of greatness, not through self-promotion but through self-sacrifice.[3] Real men need real service.

May God Bless
Mike Toole
Lori Moores, ed.

1, Carroll Osburn, Women in the Church, ACU Press, Abilene TX, 2001, p.xviii

2. David Murrow, Why Men Hate Going To Church, Nelson Books, Nashville TN, 2005, p.144

3. ibid. p.101

Note: I could only touch the tip of the iceberg on this topic. If it caught your attention, please read the book. It’s a real eye-opener!